Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 7, Episode 10
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the tenth episode of the seventh series. Key *'HD' – Hugh Dennis *'AP' – Andy Parsons *'FB' – Frankie Boyle *'RH' – Russell Howard *'JW' – Jack Whitehall *'EB' – Ed Byrne Topics Bad Things To Hear From a Tour Guide *'RH: '''Please don't take photos of the natives because they believe that you're taking part of their soul. Apart from that, enjoy Norwich. *'FB: (Yorkshire accent) Hello, me name's Janet, I'm your holiday rep and basically I'll be giving out morning-after pills like they were Smarties. *'''HD: ''(Very quietly)'' Good morning. I'm afraid this is the loudest I can speak. *'EB: '''Venice is the most historical city famous for its-- OH SHIT, IT'S FLOODED! EVERYONE GET BACK ON THE BUS! *'FB: 'A lot of you will be wondering why there are so many wonderful foreign treasures on display here at the British Museum, and the answer is quite simple, really: Gun beats spear. *'HD: 'Don't worry this castle does cater for the disabled, they bring you a sandwich while the rest of us go up the steps and look at it *'RH: 'Lets have a little song, shall we? ''(Hums "Dueling Banjos") *'AP: '''Coming up later on we've the Topless Donkey Derby and Who's Got The Funniest Willy Competition! Yes, its going to be the best Saga Holiday you've ever had! *'FB: 'I know that a lot of you can't bear to leave Thailand, which is why I've hidden drugs randomly in your luggage. *'EB: 'And as we enter the next room where I need you all to be very quiet, because we have technically broken in. *'FB: 'If you need anything, anything at all, I'll be under your bed. *'JW: 'And if you look out of the window on your left you'll see the side of the road that we should be driving on. *'FB: 'Of course you have to respect local customs. On the right hand side, you'll see a woman being burned at the stake, and on the left, Dundee Town Hall. *'HD: 'Well this the deepest darkest bit of the caves. Unless you give me twenty pounds each it's where you're staying. *'EB: 'And according to Wikipedia, The East Wing was built in the year Dougie is a homo. *'JW: 'We're now leaving the Green Zone. Pop on your flack jackets, this is the real Baghdad! *'FB: 'An adult and two children is ten pounds, but enough about my trip to Cambodia. Unlikely Things To Hear on a Breakfast Show *'FB: 'If the woman I picked up last night is watching, help yourself to cereal, but get out the flat by the time I get home. *'HD: 'And now, it‘s time for Thought for The Day. Hmm. That was a good one. *'AP: 'You’re listening to 6 Music. Yes you. Just you. *'RH: 'Welcome to Travel Report! I've got a text from Dave on the M5 who says “Ha, ha, ha, every morning you leave for work, I pop round and shag your wife.” *'HD: 'So if you’re trying to get in via Junction 2, stop it, it's against nature and the Bible says no. *'FB: 'Next we speak to Fern Britton about having her stomach stapled, this time to an enormous chocolate cake. *'JW: 'In another traffic news, if you’re on the M11 heading towards Middlesbrough, I would turn around because it’s a shithole. *'RH: 'Hello! I'm doing a survey into the effects of replacing milk on your Weetabix with RED BULL! *'EB: 'We can see there's been an accident northbound on the M1 and it is a beauty! *'FB: 'Welcome to Radio Tourettes, you shit monkeys! *'HD: 'You may think of it as a breakfast show. I had mine at FOUR BLOODY THIRTY! *'FB: '''Later Vanessa Feltz will be joining me on the settee, and I'll be bouncing through the fucking ceiling. Category:Scenes We'd Like To See